Make the satế if needed: Trim the tops and bottoms of the lemongrass, remove the tough outer layers and mince. Add the minced lemongrass to a food processor along with the shallot, garlic, and Thai chilies. Pulse into a fine paste.Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until it shimmers. Add the satế paste and fry, stirring, just until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the chili flakes, sugar, fish sauce, and shrimp paste (if using). Let cool then place in a jar or airtight container. The satế will keep in the fridge for up to several weeks.
Once the satế is ready, bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook 3 minutes shy of al dente. Drain well, reserving 1½ cups pasta water.
Melt the butter along with the satế in a large sauté pan over medium heat, then add 1/2 cup the pasta water and whisk until the sauce emulsifies and comes to a gentle boil.
Add the drained pasta to the pan and cook on high heat, tossing gently, until the pasta is al dente and the sauce reduces and becomes thick and glossy, about 3 minutes. Add pasta water if the pan becomes too dry.
Remove from the heat and add the cheese, tossing until melted and glossy. Serve immediately, drizzled with extra sate and finished with fresh herbs.